Sheila Norgate is a visual artist, performer, feminist, author, lesbian, and lover of dogs, not necessarily in that order (especially according to her dog). Her paintings have been exhibited in galleries throughout North America and her work is widely collected. This talk explores the issue of empathy from a distinctly feminist perspective. Norgate looks at how women are systematically conditioned to leave themselves, their bodies, their experience, and go to the 'other' almost always at their own expense. She draws on her personal history, her sense of humour, as well as excerpts from her collection of vintage books on etiquette, charm and beauty. She closes the talk with the point that true empathy must be an 'inside job'. In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)