#WellnessWednesday Parenting Tips from Child and Family Psychologist, Dr. Lesli Preuss: I am often asked by parents if they are bribing their children to behave. Repeatedly, I find myself explaining the difference between bribes and rewards, and there are distinct and very important differences. The primary difference is that a bribe is given to someone who is acting poorly to get them to behave - without actually ever seeing the good behavior; whereas, a reward is something desirable given to someone after he has done something positive. Another very important consideration is that bribing actually leads to an increase in negative behaviors and rewards lead to increases in positive, or desirable behaviors. So, as a parent - you do want to reward your child and you want to avoid bribes at all costs. Let's look at some examples: Your child gets impatient in the grocery line and begins to tantrum and beg for a treat. The screaming gets louder, the demands more fervent and you hand your child a candy bar and say - "now be quiet". That is a bribe and you have actually reinforced tantruming to get what he wants. Same scenario, but mom says "if you quiet down and wait patiently with mommy until our turn has come then I will gladly let you have a candy bar." This is a reward - you are expecting the desirable behavior prior to getting the reward and this will lead to an increase in the child being patient in line in the future. It is important to note that rewards do not always have to be physical items, although they can be from time to time. Rather, children respond equally as well to verbal praise as a reward, public acknowledgement for doing a good job at something, extra time with a parent or time spent together in the evening. Hopefully this helps to differentiate bribes from rewards and will help next time you are in a sticky situation with your child! For more information, visit: www.drlesli.com

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